Still numb. and it still hurts. it hurts more that she seems unable to talk to me anymore. im fine with any contact with her, and yet she does not want it, she makes it seem like i was the one that brought it on. inside im guilt stricken.. trying to figure out what i did wrong to bring this on.
I have no footing in this at all. i only stand back and watch. i think it good that this is all i get. otherwise id be much worse.
I still hold my breath when i see them. i dont know how to act most days. whether to say nothing or be polite and talk to or back.
So i smile and wave. give them the idea im fine. can you see through it other than in my writing? i think im doing good, compared to what i was like.
I want her back. ha if only our friendship. i need that. i talk to the second more than her. its rather different. and confronting.
I want her to know that i do love her, maybe never to the same extent, or at least admit it, but i do and i will always stand beside her, help her up when she needs the hand and save her when she needs it most.
What to do..
Posted by
Sierra Lima Juliet Tango
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