Coward.
Thats what i am.
It feels good to write it down, or say it aloud.
You are a coward Sierra, and you deserve every little bit of this.
It's funny.. You think.. Or at least hope that the bullying, teasing, picking at you and the straight out abuse will end with school.
"It seems it does for some. But you're not so lucky sweetheart".
I just cant seem to escape it. It's following me everywhere. I went through school fighting so i wouldn't have to for one bloody day at least. One hour? Not a break. Never a break.
Sure, pick on the new kid. Thats fine, i always expected that, but why keep it going for so long? I mean, an entire year? then two? then another two, another two and a year again? Piss off.
Now it's with me again. They wont quit. Sure i dont seem to stress as much as others, and i wont bring myself to fight back, what if it made it worse? Not just for me, but for her as well? God in a child's eyes.. I can't do that to her.
I hide who i am to give her peace. I can't imagine how she'd be treated. Pick at me all you like, but leave her out of it.
I will not break under your snide comments, your hurtful remarks and your unbearable treatment.
I will not break.
Never.
Its been more than a year since you and i were.. well you and i.
Some days i miss it, others i dont, but a day like today makes me glad i never did have the guts to kiss the one i loved.
To find out now that, as previously stated, more than a year ago, when we were together and i had left school, you went to her house. the one person you said you tried to stay away from because she was constantly flirting with you.
Now, as im told, this visit was not entirely uneventful. In fact im told it was a complete makeout fest. At this time i was currently saving for you, to get you and i out of our parents houses and a place of our own. To give you the freedom i knew you wanted.
And yet you are with her, confessing your love to the one person you swore to me you would never date again.
Now im not pissed with the fact you did go back to her, oh no. Im pissed with the fact you constantly lied to me throughout the entire time we were together.
I believe now that you never loved me. That you wanted to hurt the one before me. Just like you wished to hurt me by leaving me, going back to her and sneaking behind your mothers back to "make love" when she couldn't catch on. I feel sorry for her. Your mother and the last.
I truely thought you were a genuine person. A once in a lifetime catch.
Why did you ever chase me? Why did you want to "be mine" those first two times if you didn't want to be with me after all?
I loved you. I respected you. I had your heart.. No.. I had a piece of fake metal you called the key to your heart.
I now realise why it took me so long to forget you. To stop loving you. Because the relationship wasn't real.
You were always half hearted Romeo, and i was all for you.
Until notice takes place.
Notte.
