She talked to me. both did. it helped, if only for the fact i needed her contact, but im still in pieces.
I had a reason, a plan of not to fall in love. i know that is something no one can promise ones self. i avoided it for years. i finally fell into the habit again and hurt her. twice. the first not so badly, i guess time helped there. the second was gutless me running with my tail between my legs.
So when she hurt me, when they got together the first time, i knew i deserved it. i deserved that entire stretch you shared with her. what hurt was seeing you hurt. and im sorry for that. i wished to save you. help you. love you.
I did love you, more than anyone i ever gave a second thought to. and i believed you loved me. i trusted you like i had no other, i looked at you like i had no other. i wished to build us a life, or at least give you space from everyone, from everything. the time and air i knew you needed, with no one to pester you but me, until even i was too much. then id simply step back. i would have kept you forever, forever safe and free. i would have made sure.
But it was not enough was it?
We had another try, and i believed you loved me, maybe even more than i loved you, and that is what made me wake up in the morning, that is what kept me smiling, made me gaze at you those long hours.
Im sorry i left you, but i left for you. i was looking ahead.
I dont hold it against you. i wont. i will forever love you. my heart may not be open for it as easily anymore but i will keep you, for my years and years to come.
I love you.
Dont let me go.
Posted by
Sierra Lima Juliet Tango
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