And As She Opens Her Eyes...

This is what she sees.

She talked to me. both did. it helped, if only for the fact i needed her contact, but im still in pieces.

I had a reason, a plan of not to fall in love. i know that is something no one can promise ones self. i avoided it for years. i finally fell into the habit again and hurt her. twice. the first not so badly, i guess time helped there. the second was gutless me running with my tail between my legs.

So when she hurt me, when they got together the first time, i knew i deserved it. i deserved that entire stretch you shared with her. what hurt was seeing you hurt. and im sorry for that. i wished to save you. help you. love you.

I did love you, more than anyone i ever gave a second thought to. and i believed you loved me. i trusted you like i had no other, i looked at you like i had no other. i wished to build us a life, or at least give you space from everyone, from everything. the time and air i knew you needed, with no one to pester you but me, until even i was too much. then id simply step back. i would have kept you forever, forever safe and free. i would have made sure.

But it was not enough was it?

We had another try, and i believed you loved me, maybe even more than i loved you, and that is what made me wake up in the morning, that is what kept me smiling, made me gaze at you those long hours.

Im sorry i left you, but i left for you. i was looking ahead.

I dont hold it against you. i wont. i will forever love you. my heart may not be open for it as easily anymore but i will keep you, for my years and years to come.

I love you.

Dont let me go.


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My name is Sierra.. or Juliet.. :) Im 21, I have greeny blue eyes and dirty blond hair.. Do have fun reading through my experiences and mental upheavals?


-- "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

-- "Some people blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think, who raised us?"

-- "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

-- "Art is what you can get away with."

-- "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow."

-- "When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show it that you have a thousand reasons to smile."

-- "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."

-- "Life is never easy for those who dream."

-- "There are two great days in a person's life. The day we are born and the day we discover why."

-- "You are every reason, every hope and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life."

-- "When i grow up i want to look back and know i did the wrong things for all the right reasons."

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