You know those moments when you think back on how you were as a child, be it energetic and playful or secluded and lazy, and then back to the years in high school where you make a somewhat drastic change from carefree and ignorant to a little more aware and eager, the days you treasured not only for the school and to be away from home but your friends and the memories they helped you make, then fast forward to the years you decided what mattered most at the time? In my case it was friends. It was always friends.
In primary school and the years before, the only friends i knew where three from school that were the closest thing to sisters i had, and my brothers who, despite their avoidance of me on most occasions and the fact the two eldest and two youngest were always in pairs and had all the company they needed.. I learned alot from them. Maybe not life changing knowledge but.. I owe it to them that i know how to run like anything (when im not constantly denying that i can run at all), that i can climb up a roof better than most paid to do it, i can skateboard,rollerblade and bike ride to my hearts content, i can throw a ball further than most and hit it back twice as hard, i have a stamina trained by trying to keep up with them that can keep me up and moving far beyond most people, i love heights and can scale a tree, no matter how tall, without fear, I can kick a football in a relatively straight line and i dare you to try and beat me in non-stop cricket, walla rugby, soft ball, hockey, netball and hand ball..
These boys of mine may have given anything to get rid of me when i was younger but that also taught me the one thing i hold above all else.
To love with an open heart, no matter your background, lifestyle, sexual orientation, family, friends, record, dreams or lovers. If i have no logical and/or relevant reason to avoid or dislike you, then i am and will always be, your friend.
------------------------------------
Life is alright. Still tired, still struggling to gain weight and still fighting with this Emetophobia.
On the other hand, i have new friends and am talking with old ones more, i got a promotion of sorts and feel more free at home. I have a new best friend in the form of a four legged fluffy white male puppy. He has a rare disease called strangled puppy syndrome and i worry for him, but love him wholeheartedly non the less. My parents are happy at this moment in time. My love life is excellent! Yeah.. well anyone that knows me well enough knows thats a lie. It is getting me down, all this loneliness but it seems im getting there. Managing the sadness that comes with being.. what would you call it.. undesirable? Hahaha I dont mind. I know very well im one of those people that look fine from afar and if you dont know a thing about me, but after a while all affection if anything, goes straight out the top floor window. Not even mad haha. Maybe one day i'll run into one of those people i loved earlier in life and somehow, a miracle will happen and they'll forget why they ever got rid of me, be it my uncanny knack of not needing alot of attention, or at least not when surrounded by other people, or the fact i dont invite people over much which i know will change as soon as i move away, or maybe it's the fact they expected too much from a small, rarely loved girl that loves her books more than a great majority of essentials.
Miracles happen hahaha
On another note, I'm currently fascinated in learning everything about the people i know's lives. Their families, their hometowns, their favorites and least favorites, what they've done, what they want to do. I find myself listening intently even if i have very important things to do sitting right in front of me. I want to soak up their experiences and memories, and know what they live like. But im not too sure why. Maybe inspiration?
Maybe i'll meet someone that allows me to use them as the base of the main character in a book i write or a drawing i pencil out. Maybe.
Posted by
Sierra Lima Juliet Tango
0 comments:
Post a Comment